Relationship counseling is often engaged in to help improve communication, build a stronger emotional bond, and to resolve conflict. However, engaging in this counseling can be intimidating, as many people have no idea what to expect. In this blog post, we will explore some frequently asked questions to help demystify the process.
- What happens in relationship counseling?
You and your partner will work with a trained therapist to identify any issues and set goals. Your therapist will help you to uncover strengths and limitations within the relationship, learn new communication skills, and cope with emotions that may be coming up within the context of the relationship. The exact breakdown of how sessions work largely depend on the theoretical orientation of the therapist.
2. How long does relationship counseling last?
There isn’t typically a set length of time. It really depends on the goals and needs of the couple. Some couples may be in a pretty good space already, while others may have deeper and longer held issues. Additionally, how invested each partner is in the process can quicken or slow the process, as well.
3. Will the therapist take sides?
No, the therapist will not take sides. The therapist’s role is to remain neutral and facilitate productive communication between partners. The couple is the “client,” which means the therapist’s focus is the relationship, rather than either individual within the relationship.
4. What if my partner doesn’t want to attend counseling?
It’s hard to work on a relationship if both partners aren’t committed to doing so. You may benefit from individual counseling to uncover some of your own struggles and making progress individually may benefit the relationship. You can’t force a partner into counseling, but you can continue to discuss the possibility and express why you think it’s important.
5. What if our conflicts are too deep to be resolved?
No conflict is too deep to be resolved. If both partners are committed to making the relationship work, it can be done. Some problems are perpetual and won’t have a clean solution, but that doesn’t mean the conflict has to remain intense. If a couple is unable to make progress in counseling, the therapist may refer to other resources or support. There is always hope though!
6. How do we know if relationship counseling is working?
You will probably notice improvements in your communication, emotional bond, and conflict resolution skills. Remember though, change takes time and progress is sometimes slow. Sometimes it seems like things are getting worse, before they get better. It’s important to keep an open mind, take things slow, and discuss any concerns about progress with your therapist.
7. Is relationship counseling confidential?
Yes, relationship counseling is confidential. However, there are some exceptions to confidentiality, such as if the therapist suspects child abuse or neglect, if the therapist is legally required to release information, or if there are imminent safety issues. Also, relationship counseling is unique in that the relationship is the client. This means that both parties have a right to request copies of the therapist’s records.
8. How do we find a qualified relationship counselor?
You can start by searching online for licensed therapists in your area who specialize in couples therapy. PsychologyToday.com is a good resource with a large database of therapists. It’s important to choose a counselor who is experienced and whose approach aligns with your needs and goals.
9. Does insurance cover couples counseling?
Most insurance companies do not cover couples counseling. In order for insurance to cover services, treatment has to be “medically necessary.” What this means, is there must be a diagnosis that is being treated. Relationship stress or adjustment is not a medical diagnosis that is covered. Additionally, insurance companies require a single client to be the focus of sessions and this is not possible in couples counseling, as the relationship is the “client.”
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